Sometimes I'm THE student.

Somebody I once wanted turned out to be the greatest teacher to me. With his consistent inconsistency he first taught me patience. I become infatuatuated quickly because it is rare that I let people into my mental space however, I never let my heart lead me because my heart has no "reason" behind decision making and with this man dropping in and out of my life it made me respect the space of those who have dreams and ambitions (assuming his busy schedule was in fact due to his career). I never want to be a distraction so I learned to be patient and appreciate the attention and time I did get. With his charm he taught me humility, I'm always the one being chased but once the doors of communication seemed open I allowed myself to humbly express how I felt. Being able to be humble empowered me, I felt bold enough to say what it is & that was a breakthrough for me :) Lastly, he taught me that I am not owed anything, I can't control everything, and that I'm capable of making respectable decisions for myself. The last lesson he taught was a multitude of lessons but in the end this man who I wanted so bad but did me so shady (so I felt) is the first one I have no ill feelings towards, I'm not upset, I'm not angry, I didn't even mention anything about his phoniness because honestly I GET IT! Sometimes when ppl enter our lives we try to fit them in a space that we can label, even if that space isn't available we try to reserve it for them later. The truth is God works in mysterious ways so when you feel like you've been let down, realize that there is a lesson that was learned and if your open enough you can receive  it and realize the role of people in your lives are already determined. Put less emphasis on WHAT role people are playing and focus on WHY they play their part. :) SN: I hope this man understands however, I am a Taurus woman with pride so I will never make an effort to talk or see him again unless I'm awkwardly in the same room with him BUT if he comes across this blog... I did appreciate the lesson and I wish we could have just ended it right there, that night when it was just us, the sand, and the moon. That would have been in some way a happIER ending.