Truth.

To most ppl I appear as an open book but nobody really knows 100% of me. So many things I actually leave unsaid because I know some people can't communicate effectively ... Or struggles I go through that would take more than a 15 min conversation to understand. People "ain't got time" but the blessing in that is it forces me to allow God to occupy more of my time. He knows every moment I'm alone I'm talking to him, confiding, & being my pure self unfiltered & questioning his place for me & what I can do better, how to be more still. I need to be less available mentally from this world & physically to the ppl of the world. It's important that in the midst of spiritual growth I distance myself to allow a clear vision on THE PURPOSE. 

Learn.

Today I watched a documentary exposing the corruption of our government. None of what I saw surprised me because I've known that many of the disease and viruses that plague us as a people have been man made, injected in insects such as mosquitoes and tics, and spread as bio warfare on our own people. What I got out of this was however very interesting. I realized that WE the tax payers intrust and enable the government to control our  land, heck its our money that pays their salary! Because they do so well with hiding their intentions of scientific studies we are blinded by these attacks. The less we come together as a people the more TIME the government has to create all kinda of disease and even creatures to keep us as their slaves (like the humanzee, now picture that mixed with you not being able to own a firearm! How could we defend ourselves against that?!?).  Here is my challenge for you for the week ( hold me accountable so I do it too!): For every meaningless Facebook, twitter, or Instagram post you make you need to post one that holds value. This post can be a fact, a quote, a discovery, or something educational. Imagine if we all shared something interesting that we knew! It could spark someones passion to research more!  We need to lead together before one day we wake up to a world of chaos (which is occurring somewhere right now) Don't SLEEP. Get money, get a passport, read books, and be prepared. 

Help me, help myself.

The other day I told MYSELF  "I believe everything I say for everyone but ME". After the words left my lips I felt overwhelmed with emotion because finally I realized that it was my subconscious thinking that has been hindering me from obtaining the full bliss I so desperately seek. Not only was that moment a reflection of how I thought of my love life but it literally told my entire life (money, friends, ect) At that moment, all I could do was go into what I call RECOVERY. 

I FIRST identified the issue by taking a pause AFTER I spoke today and seeing how it effects my emotions (this goes against the proper way of pausing before you speak) for example: A coworker told me how she met the love of her life on Match.com & I jokingly replied saying I was going to join. (PAUSE) My negative subconscious immediately went off in my head telling me that it wouldn't happen that way for me, there was no way I could meet someone & fall in love & him actually be GOOD. See, the problem isn't if it would or wouldn't happen (that's Gods work) the problem is me immediately expecting less than I desire. The reason I needed a pause after my FIRST initial thoughts was to make sure I accurately identified with my own emotion before my learned behavior of altering my responses to sound optimistic jumped in the way. 

After I figured out what my issue was I then began to think, 'why don't I believe great things for my love life?'. I went through a list of reasons, thought about things like 'am I too picky?', 'is there bad karma I could have caused?', 'is it ME?'... Aha! That's IT... My next point! I was associating my CURRENT issue with  the PAST when the past holds no value for TODAY.  At that moment I laughed, prayed to GOD to fix my attitude towards love and being single and I realized that things are the way they are not because of Karma (if that was the case half of the happily married couples I know would be in a world of distress), things are how they are because God is allowing me to recognize things about myself that perhaps I wouldn't even notice if I was in a relationship. My current lesson is still in session & I'm learning to not just say things and believe them with my head... I need to believe GOOD things for me with my heart. Believe good things for YOU. You owe it to the child you once were, the child with no fear, no stigmas about love, the optimistic you to believe you will be what you want to be when you grow up. WE are never too grown to grow. As a reminder of this to myself check out my new lock screen/background pic on my phone lol ;) I'm a soon to be QUEEN 

*Feel free to leave a comment ;) I would love to start discussing the topics on my blog!* 

Tatted up? Or Telling tales?

 

 

 

ALL of my tattoos are inspired by something. This Tree happened to be a cover up for a tattoo I got in Arabic that just so happened to mean nothing according to a friend from Sudan I met years after. The reason I chose this gnarly tree was because there is a quote that I often repeat to those I meet and that is "A people without knowledge of their history is like a TREE without roots" Marcus Garvey. The three birds represent my sisters and I... I will always respect them and take with me the things that they have taught me. This tattoo is still in progress because I want to dedicate this tree to my entire family, they are my ROOT. Maybe I will add more birds or maybe I'll add names and make them look like branches. Regardless of anything I have NO REGRETS.

Roll wit me!

LOVER FRIENDS.

 When I was a teen my parents would always introduce the guy I was dating, to family as my "Friend". As if the introduction really made any difference, I was always offended; I felt that whoever I was dating at the time deserved the label "BOYFRIEND". In my late teens/ early 20's  my friends and I would say 'I don't want a boyfriend I want a MANfriend'. NOW I say, 'it would be nice to just have a FRIEND'. It's funny how the saying "Your parents are always right" rings a bell whenever I get those "AH  HA!" moments in my head.  With age you're suppose to grow and as you grow you realize that the slick comments made by your parents were almost a foreshadowing. At 24, I realize most people in our lives don't even know how to be a friend let alone more. A friend is someone who is like next to kin. Friends should be the people that hold you accountable when you're wrong, they should be loyal, support your business endeavors, and when you're not around a FRIEND is one who speaks so highly of you (despite ALL they could say about you) to the point that even you're surprised by your own greatness. Today when I sat down and thought about what I wanted in a soul mate "FRIEND" is what came to mind. Think about it, we ALL have "friends" that we argue with, then we make up; friends who we don't have to talk to everyday but when we come together it's like we never skipped a beat. Friends become the God parents to our children, they are our designated drivers (with whom we trust our lives even when they've been drinking too, only less than us), and friends hold our secrets (the ones family may not even know about). Why wouldn't you expect that GREATNESS in your future spouse? If you can be a great friend; someone who is honest and loyal you can perhaps move forward to becoming something more, like FAMILY. I challenge my people to evaluate the substance of the relationships around you. Are you with your friend? No matter if the dynamic of the relationship changes REAL friends last forever. Love last FOREVER. Boyfriends & Girlfriends come and go. SEEK friendship, not a title, because a real friend will know how to handle your heart without having to label you anything other than their FUTURE. Wherever there is friendship I'm sure love is somewhere waiting near.

XO- Ms. Ross

Sometimes I'm THE student.

Somebody I once wanted turned out to be the greatest teacher to me. With his consistent inconsistency he first taught me patience. I become infatuatuated quickly because it is rare that I let people into my mental space however, I never let my heart lead me because my heart has no "reason" behind decision making and with this man dropping in and out of my life it made me respect the space of those who have dreams and ambitions (assuming his busy schedule was in fact due to his career). I never want to be a distraction so I learned to be patient and appreciate the attention and time I did get. With his charm he taught me humility, I'm always the one being chased but once the doors of communication seemed open I allowed myself to humbly express how I felt. Being able to be humble empowered me, I felt bold enough to say what it is & that was a breakthrough for me :) Lastly, he taught me that I am not owed anything, I can't control everything, and that I'm capable of making respectable decisions for myself. The last lesson he taught was a multitude of lessons but in the end this man who I wanted so bad but did me so shady (so I felt) is the first one I have no ill feelings towards, I'm not upset, I'm not angry, I didn't even mention anything about his phoniness because honestly I GET IT! Sometimes when ppl enter our lives we try to fit them in a space that we can label, even if that space isn't available we try to reserve it for them later. The truth is God works in mysterious ways so when you feel like you've been let down, realize that there is a lesson that was learned and if your open enough you can receive  it and realize the role of people in your lives are already determined. Put less emphasis on WHAT role people are playing and focus on WHY they play their part. :) SN: I hope this man understands however, I am a Taurus woman with pride so I will never make an effort to talk or see him again unless I'm awkwardly in the same room with him BUT if he comes across this blog... I did appreciate the lesson and I wish we could have just ended it right there, that night when it was just us, the sand, and the moon. That would have been in some way a happIER ending.