- Withdrawal - The stage right after the initial break up when you hate/love your ex & go back & fourth between what your head tells you & your heart tells you... In this phase you might reconnect with your ex until you reach....
- Overcoming- This stage is when you listen to your HEAD voice, because your heart will always hold a piece of compassion that your head doesn't understand, yes it's true that your heart sometimes can be WRONG. Overcoming is when you tally up the good & bad, & when you realize the bad is far more than the good you make a choice to overcome which leads you to...
- Peace- The peace stage is when you make the CHOICE to accept the past, forgive, & whole heartily move on. This stage is when your not quite ready to be committed yet but you are ready to enjoy the new you as a single person...this for me was the longest stage, until...
- Seeking- This is where I'M at now, dating... ready to make more than just a physical relationship with someone but not ready to put titles on it, becoming committed friends with someone and having a mutual understanding on where you stand. You're finally ready to put yourself out there & meet someone you could possibly have a life long relationship with.
I write all these stages to say that in the past 2 years I've really taken the time to do me & get to know myself. I'm very proud that I haven't jumped into a relationship but at the same time I realize that part of the reason is because I HAVE subconsciously been sabotaging my relationships with men by playing this care free, nonchalant, love them & leave them female, & while I believe part of the reason is because I knew I wasn't ready to love again the main reasoning is that I'm a defensive woman now. I believe that at a certain point where love has been lost in your past we become over protective of our feelings and try to control them as much as possible. I personally become the dominate one in all of the encounters I have with men, I say the when's & where's and even when I get close to liking someone & express my interest if his reaction isn't as I would expect I immediately gain power back by creating this non importance to the feelings that I may or may not have. I don't really know where I'm going with all of this, heck I'm still trying to figure out this awkward stage myself... but I know that I will be honest, vulnerable, & true to myself and allow my feelings to be free. One thing I have learned about ME is that I am a strong woman & a worthy woman and where I am at spiritually lets me know that I deserve the best & God already has chosen my KING so regardless of who I like & who likes me or doesn't like me it's never a loss because whatever doesn't work out was never mine to begin with and with that said I welcome any rejection that I get in this stage of my life because being that my life is Gods I know that's him saying "ok B I know you like him now... but trust me I got better ;) just be patient"
- Thanks for reading B.Ross
HERE'S SOME FLAVOR FOR YOUR EAR ON THE MATTER:
