Pray for THEM.

As we lay in bed praying for peace of mind some lay across dead bodies simply praying for peace pleading with enemies to spare the life of their children they point the gun to themselves, " Neem my!!" they scream 'take me!' and as they cry in agony they feel the bodies of their children collapse in their arms, heads blown off, eyes fallen to their cheeks and bones disfigured and barely assembled to their body -- They live in hell on earth, no starvation or unemployment amounts to this hell, this darkness is far to black to ever see light, gorilla warfare assassins hidden behind homes at night and every sound wakes them, every footstep is a gut wrenching noise they are restless while we toss and turn because we are thinking of how we will pay our bills tomorrow they wish tomorrow never comes ... Tonight pray for them. Pray for them tonight.

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"My conversation with (G)od" ... this is a poem by Me.

They say a drunk man says what a sober man thinks... Well I'm somewhere in-between, stomach aching from last nights tequila & lime looking through my drunk text messages, 1am, where u at ? ... 3:15, come get me! ... 5am pleading with him to F me one last time, last time was my last time I tell myself but I'm lying again, pissed off because I'm tired of being only a friend, I let this start but don't know how to make it end coz everytime he text back I'm smiling again... the devil isn't right but he makes a good friend--- see that's where my thoughts are at right now, hungover, barely sober but I can't tell if what I'm thinking is real just like when someone kisses me I can't tell how they feel...and I'm not even loving myself anymore, convinced I don't need love coz every man is a whore, I'm mad as hell that my mind could think such thoughts so I work hard as hell so my liquor can be brought and chase my pain with champagne, then get f'd up and scream "I'll never do this shit again!!!!" ... til I sober up enough to forget how sick I was and next week I'm celebrating at the bar just because... This cycle is becoming bigger than ME... I'm f'd up and I know it G

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Eager she has no patience to wait for she sees clear in the distance her prey
You timid and unsure of her approach proceed with caution unknowing of her power
Wondering if she’ll devour you or shower you with love and protection
She is barren and it’s obvious
More strength than all of us combined her walk gives life to nature & her smile creeps through the continuous shade others give her
Try and forgive her for her forwardness for she has animal like instincts
She thinks quick and clever her moves are systematic she is a recovering addict
But Lust only feeds her enough to survive, love makes her full
Her body is covered with invisible battle wounds …
She is a warrior of romance.

SN: You can purchase the earrings that are in this picture @ www.blushedbybross.com/shop-bross *shameless plug* LOL

Thank you MOB WIVES for this song!!! LOL

PRESS play.

Broke.

There is something completely intriguing about depression, it is the realization that things aren't perfect, and without that there would be no window to vent, for me I would have never wrote a poem, or sang a song... never picked up a paint brush. Thank you broken heart, to you I owe all creativity.

It is what it is.... or is it?

Pain. Disappointment. BETRAYAL. anger. love. lust. ... wait

CONFUSED is the word I was looking for. I will never understand why things happened the way they did, I also will never guess how things will end up... yes confused I am, I am confused.


Is there really a reason for it all? Were the whippings I endured as a child the preparation for the abusive relationship I had as a teen? Was losing my virginity in the closet the foreshadow of my secret affairs... what does ALL things work together really mean? Is that a way of making me rationalize why my actions of today aren't so far fetched from my actions of the past... if all things work together will my weed smoking of 2011 explain my dementia of 2065 If I only did it 5 times will I still think that's the reason? Nothing really makes sense, I don't think there is a reason for everything. WHY did I have to trip today, I wasn't in a rush... wonder what lesson that will link to in the future....


I promise I initially wrote something more put together and structured, but it was 3 pages long and it really had no point at all, I apologize if this post isn't a clever poem or sassy quote, love song, or short story. Life isn't always structured.

Dating series PT.1 " Why u can't get past the first date."

Dating is the fruit of life I like to call "KnowLEDGE", it takes getting to know your wants and needs and seeing if it is compatible with those of the opposite sex. In the beginning it's fun, you have variety, spontaneity, and hella flirting action but for me it has taken 3 years and now I'm at the tricky part in it all: When you finally get to KNOW yourself & what you stand for no matter how complex you seem to others you stand firm and become more straight forward about expressing those things. Over the years I have been in serious relationships, to recently dating not so serious relationships and all of the fun and partying, dating, and all that comes with it I realized I KNOW I am meant to be a committed wife. Now to some in hind sight they think I'm dating to make a guy my husband or to be in a relationship fast... that is a LIE. My issue is if from jump you KNOW you are content being a single bachelor for life we have nothing in common to even waste my time on a first date or further ... like paper don't waste time.... It's one thing you can't recycle

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I speak for HER. (pt. 1)

The truth behind it all is more complicated than a lie,


nobody wants to hear the reason of madness they assume they know the answers


like Black Panthers stood strong unbreakable walls, defensive they used weapons and mind


I one of a kind praise them all, wishing I would've be apart of the movement but the only thing moving for me is time, wasting on simple things shopping and dinner dates no need for date rape drugs we give in so easy now


sleazy? how? we were born this way, but I think not most habits of men have been taught in one way or another we blame our brothers but whose really in control


like rock N roll we move to the beat of our own drums get strung like guitars in the bathroom of bars.... easy , everything that could be taken we give


we are poor now... self employed prostitutes and whores naked on floors of men who adore sin and we say we enjoy it, go home shower to destroy it the very scent of lust makes our stomachs turn .....

10:46 PM, after months of silence my thoughts pour...

If I had enough energy I'd love you again, fold my legs and arms in fetal position and lay curled against the curve of your stomach and chest, I'd let your finger tips gently sweep the flesh of my spine, cold my back bear I'd shiver but your arms would quickly catch every beat of my body and warm me ... I would dream, fall fast asleep with me in your arms being my last memory if I had the energy I'd call you, tell you every argument we ever had could have been avoided, I'd let you win in every battle from this day on because I only have the strength to be silent, nothing is serious enough to be alone and if I could work myself up to it I'd take you back baggy jeans and all I'd accept all your flaws because you had everything I needed you just came with a little more... things I couldn't tolerate before, but if I had enough energy I'd love you once more.

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The Power Of Words

We hear it many times, the saying that we as human beings have the power to "speak things in to existence", and until right now I always believed that to a certain extent. I realized that it is easier to give words power when it is said with the most certainty that it has the ability to come true. One example is the phrase "Bad things come in 3's", tell that to anyone and most people will agree with you on that theory because they have been told that when something bad happens and a few bad things follow it. The truth is bad things happen everyday and it happens more than three times, it's just the fact that some days we take more notice to those things making us conscious of all things that happen from that point on. But when do we hear "GOOD things come in 3's" ?, rarely right?, and if we did I have a feeling people would not agree. The whole point of that analogy is when we believe in something 100% it does spill out in to the universe and we form living truths, situations that occur because we simply spoke it and believed in it so much that those things were attracted to us. Realizing this I have made a choice to be conscious of the things I say and be more aware of the power of words. Faith must be the force behind the things we say, we must mean it, dream it, and believe it and it will manifest. So I challenge you to say what you want to believe will happen on a daily basis and say it so much you begin to believe in it and when it comes true that God, then thank yourself for choosing to spill positive things into the universe.

How close are you?

Why be with someone when they aren't with you?

When I wake.... (without being woken)

Today I found this quote that warmed my heart & I needed to share it! “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” - Mother Teresa

This quote made me think, that's how I feel on a day when I'm awakened by the sun, when kind words are the first words I hear, when orange juice fills my tummy before work, & my dog licks my cheek goodbye. Those days I leave the house smiling & spreading that energy to everyone... THEN there are people who come around you determined to not receive kindness or want to break you down. I don't understand the people who want to complain, want to look angry, & everything you prepared your mind to be happy about gets drowned by their unhappiness. Well I have two words for those people.
(Insert word here) OFF! The word I'd insert is BUZZ off but feel free to use any word you'd like lol