My Style feels like...

So recently I've been going through this strange fashion freak out... nothing in store really gives me 100% of the LOOK I want to obtain, now for me there is no such thing as going to one store and leaving out with an outfit it's all about mixing the old with the new or the main brand with the thrift. My style more so is for feelings not for "fashion" so to better explain here are 10 things that inspire my recent style...

1)Piercings
2)Colored lipsticks
3)Crayons & Paint
4)Different textures mixed & matched
5)Double patterns
6)architecture
7)BLACK
8)Matte colors
9)Eyeliner
10)NATURAL hair


I KNOW IT SEEMS CRAZY BUT DRESSING HAS NEVER BEEN SO FUN AND I LOVE HOW I LOOK!

Merry Christmas from My fam to yours!

The older I get the more things like this make me smile... The best gift is love.

New Website Launching 2011 !!!!

So I have a new super dope website launching 2011 which will include my online portfolio, booking, & NEW online store!!! I want to keep my website neat & to the point but I'd like to extend my blog to YOU the readers to tell me "what you'd like to see from a beauty, fashion,life, & art point of view?" (ex: tutorials, guest bloggers, fashion finds...ect.) Let's have fun and make this blog more about WE.

"I say what WE think" - B.Ross

So there's this guy...

I have come to the place in my life where I am content but never complacent, I have learned that life is unpredictable and exciting, & that our human intuition is most likely connected to God and never wrong. Recently I addressed one of my friends with a quote that I found to be true about myself... I told him that he'd never been IN LOVE with any of these girls he's dated... and honestly neither have I. I've had boyfriends that I've loved but I doubt that I 've been IN LOVE... in fact the very friend I told this to is who I've loved for the longest time, 7 years to be exact but I knew he needed to grown & so did I... although I feel like I KNOW what I want in life I feel it's always smart to let other experience different things before you express it all to them. Sometimes REAL talk can't be done until both parties have been able to reach a certain level with themselves first. I guess what I'm trying to say is if you KNOW in your heart that someone close to you belongs to you be patient and pray on how God will make things work out. Don't push maturity on a man/woman. All I can say is I guess I'll keep living my life and flowing... if HE came to me today and said he was ready I'd feel like this song...

Hmm...

(POWER)FUL

"I just needed time alone, with my own thoughts
Got treasures in my mind but couldn’t open up my own vault
My childlike creativity, purity and honesty
Is honestly being prodded by these grown thoughts" - Kanye West

Flashback...

Greetings people,

As I was sitting here sipping on red wine & thinking about life one song came to mind... On & On by the wonderful & talented Ms.Badu. It's funny how we can go years knowing the lyrics to songs THINKING we know the meaning, or sometimes not even knowing the meaning but digging the song. This year 2010 I have really came full circle, merging my emotions and artistry in every thing I do. I now operate solely on my feelings when it comes to career choice, what I wear, what I say, who I associate with & how I respond to change. I no longer fear "being without" or wondering about the unknown or what COULD have been. Like the earth turns " my cipher keeps moving like a rolling stone"... constantly growing and recreating. I'm not sure where I'm trying to go with this blog it's just merely a reflection of my thoughts at the moment. I guess my point is what I do have is worth gold to me, I am rich in my eyes & poor in others eyes... I serve God therefore I am never without & I just hope that people can feel the same sense of peace that I feel. The world will never stop for us, we can't rewind or reply what happens you just have to keep it moving and live day by day... On & On.

I remember when I lost my mind, there was something so special about that day...

& Oh!

I'm sorry... I forgot the number one rule everyone teaches us as children "Baby I know it's not the truth but sometimes you just have to lie to make ppl feel better." <--- well that's one rule I will always break sorry, not really.

"It's like that sometimes....

Passion Over Pride

It's been almost been 2 1/2 years since I've been single & here are the stages it's taken me through:

1. Withdrawal - The stage right after the initial break up when you hate/love your ex & go back & fourth between what your head tells you & your heart tells you... In this phase you might reconnect with your ex until you reach....
2. Overcoming- This stage is when you listen to your HEAD voice, because your heart will always hold a piece of compassion that your head doesn't understand, yes it's true that your heart sometimes can be WRONG. Overcoming is when you tally up the good & bad, & when you realize the bad is far more than the good you make a choice to overcome which leads you to...
3. Peace- The peace stage is when you make the CHOICE to accept the past, forgive, & whole heartily move on. This stage is when your not quite ready to be committed yet but you are ready to enjoy the new you as a single person...this for me was the longest stage, until...
4. Seeking- This is where I'M at now, dating... ready to make more than just a physical relationship with someone but not ready to put titles on it, becoming committed friends with someone and having a mutual understanding on where you stand. You're finally ready to put yourself out there & meet someone you could possibly have a life long relationship with.

I write all these stages to say that in the past 2 years I've really taken the time to do me & get to know myself. I'm very proud that I haven't jumped into a relationship but at the same time I realize that part of the reason is because I HAVE subconsciously been sabotaging my relationships with men by playing this care free, nonchalant, love them & leave them female, & while I believe part of the reason is because I knew I wasn't ready to love again the main reasoning is that I'm a defensive woman now. I believe that at a certain point where love has been lost in your past we become over protective of our feelings and try to control them as much as possible. I personally become the dominate one in all of the encounters I have with men, I say the when's & where's and even when I get close to liking someone & express my interest if his reaction isn't as I would expect I immediately gain power back by creating this non importance to the feelings that I may or may not have. I don't really know where I'm going with all of this, heck I'm still trying to figure out this awkward stage myself... but I know that I will be honest, vulnerable, & true to myself and allow my feelings to be free. One thing I have learned about ME is that I am a strong woman & a worthy woman and where I am at spiritually lets me know that I deserve the best & God already has chosen my KING so regardless of who I like & who likes me or doesn't like me it's never a loss because whatever doesn't work out was never mine to begin with and with that said I welcome any rejection that I get in this stage of my life because being that my life is Gods I know that's him saying "ok B I know you like him now... but trust me I got better ;) just be patient"

- Thanks for reading B.Ross

HERE'S SOME FLAVOR FOR YOUR EAR ON THE MATTER:

What it feels like to Constantly Grow...

Hey YOU!

Sorry I haven't been writing as much ... this can only mean 1 thing... I'M HAPPY. Now although I love to write & I admit my crappy love life has mos def blessed me with some of my best poems & blogs I will gladly trade in my pen for happiness any day! AMEN. Oh yeah.... I shaved my head :)

Truth is...

Warning.... (Play Video at the end)

Like always I've been thinking of my place in this world, who I'm suppose to be... what I'm suppose to do, & how I interact with others. I realized that I'm an outcast. I'm selfish & I like to spend my time alone. Even in the presence of others I like to be "alone". I hate answering questions because I feel I don't have the answers. There is a quote that says "I know everything that you know and nothing that you don't" and that's truly how I feel. Don't ask me WHY am I am certain way or why I do what I do. I'm just getting to learn myself, so many of my years were comprised of being what someone else wanted me to be. So many people want me to wear a smile 100 percent of the time but there is a fire that burns within me to be GREAT, and it's frustrating to waste time doing meaningless things, answering meaningless questions and having people put an input into your life when they have not lived your life. One thing I know about myself is I don't like for people to think they KNOW me, nobody but God knows me.... my family doesn't even KNOW me. Picking my brain will end up being a disaster. When things become predictable it frustrates me. Routine is death to me. I guess what I'm tyring to say is this is a warning that if your going to love me, it will be hard & there is no point in sticking around if your feelings are easily hurt by my thoughts & way of being. I suggest you just turn around...

My new untitled poem...

I try to avoid confrontation but lately I get a strange feeling that very soon someone will happen to run into my fist
I know that sounds crazy but i envision it like a magnet, a very very big magnet so powerful that as soon as bullshit gets close to my hand it will uncontrollably raise,
stretch out in front of me like a high five but suddenly each finger will fold into a fist and... BAMN
the blood of bullshitter number one will spill out, coat my hand like his thick tongue coated my spine ,his mouth will clinch as if the impact forced him to bite his own lips that are filled with lies,
I'll see tears in his eyes but show no sympathy because at that moment I will enjoy finally seeing some emotion displayed
Surprised that he can feel, my fist will drop, fall to my side limp & lifeless & I'll have to question whether this collision of his face to my fist was intended... Somewhere between my passive attitude and numb heart was true feelings
& ever time a story went unheard, a hand went unheld, my fist would keep count of it, knowing that my mouth would not utter the words to let him know I felt unappreciated
I can't believe I'm daydreaming about this act of violence but nothing would make me feel better than to physically put him in check because clearly pussy don't make him like you more
so I'll resort back to my minor ways, I'll give him the grown up version of a love tap I just want respect and I'm OK with the idea of beating it out of him until he sees black...

"THEY COME THEY GO SOME REAL SOME FAUX "-HOV ---->>

Excuse me while I ...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (GASP FOR AIR)..... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH

DO NOT BE ALARMED THIS SCREAM WAS INTERNAL, NO PILLOW CASES OR EARS WERE HARMED.

Wait til I get my money RIGHT...

...I like the way it HURTS.

"... Passionate, Envious, Threatening, Crazy ,Lovely. The same things that I hate kept the relationship thrilling. I'd realized that I was so use to feeling that thrill that now with a guy if he doesn't hurt me, choke me or be a little to rough it doesn't feel good, I lose interest quickly with gentle men." - B.Ross

Right?

Random.

The other day I caught my friend staring at me, I asked "what are you looking at?" and he replied "you" I guess the question I should have asked was "what do you see?"

I keep trying to explain...

My nails go YUM!

So a couple months ago I saw some really cute nail designs, I decided to give it try & create a festive watermelon nail for the fourth of July! Here are the steps so you can do it at home..




Outcome: Beautiful yummy nails!


Step:4 Use Nail Art Black skinny wand to create the seeds

Step 3: Draw imperfect white lines along the 2 green nails

Step 2: Use the Nail Art skinny wands for your white Lines

Step 1: Polish your base colors Green & Pink ;)

.[UNTITLED].

Happy Sunday people! This past week has been a trying week for me; & while catching up on some rest I decided to start on the blank canvas I'd been dying to ordain with my love... So I grabbed my paint, lit a balsam & cedar Yankee Candle popped in some tunes, spread a sheet down on the floor & got BUSY!

HERE'S THE PROCESS IN REVERSE.

MJ...TIMELESS

MY ALL TIME FAV VIDEO; THE CONCEPT WAS DOPE & HE CREATED MOVIES!
I'LL LOVE HIM FOREVER!

My song. ( via Lauryn Hill)

I gotta find peace of mind... I gotta find peace of mind

He says it's impossible...But I know it's possible
He says it's impossible... But I know it's possible

He says there's no me without him Please help me forget about him
He takes all my energy Trapped in my memory
Constantly holding me Constantly holding me

I need to tell you all... All the pain he's caused mmmmm
I need to tell you I'm... I'm undone because mmmmmm

He says it's impossible But I know it's possible
He says it's impossible without him But I know it's possible
To finally be in love And know the real meaning of
A lasting relationship Not based on ownership
I trust every part of you Cause all that you say you do
You love me despite myself
Sometimes I... I fight myself
I just can't believe that you Would have anything to do
With someone so insecure... Someone so immature
Ohh you inspire me, to be the higher me

You make my desire pure... You make my desire pure
Just tell me what to say... I can't find the words to say
Please don't be mad with me... I have no identity
All that I've known is gone... All I was building on
I wanna walk with you, how do I talk to you?

Touch my mouth with your hands... Touch my mouth with your hands

Oh I wanna understand the meaning of your embrace
I know now I have to face... The temptations of my past
Please don't let me disgrace... will my devotion last
Now that I know the thruth... Now that it's no excuse
Keeping me from your love... What was I thinking of
Holding me from your love... What was I thinking of

You are my peace of mind... That old me is left behind
You are my peace of mind... That old me is left behind

He says it's impossible... but I know it's possible
He says it's improbable... but I know it's tangible
He says it's not grabbable... but I know it's haveable
Cause anything's possible... Cause anything is possible

Please come free my mind... Please come feed my mind
Can you see my mind ohh... Won't you come free my mind
Oh I know it's possible

Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything.... yeah
Anything, anything, anything, anything, .... yeah
Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything.... yeah

Oh, free... free, free, free your mind
Free... free your mind
Free.. free your mind
Free free free free your mind
Oh, it's so possible... Oh, it's so possible
I'm telling you it's possible... I'm telling you it's possible

Free, free, free....... free, get free now (repeat)

Your my peace of mind... That old me is left behind
Your my peace of mind... Your my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind... He's my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind... What a joy it is to be alive
To get another chance, yeah... Every day's another chance
To get it right this time... everday's another chance

Oh what a merciful... merciful, merciful God
Oh what a wonderful... wonderful wonderful god (continue to end)
What a merciful... merciful, merciful, merciful god
What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, merciful
Merciful, merciful, wonderful
Merciful, wonderful............

Random Rant

(PRESS PLAY THEN READ!)



I don't care what the F YOU think
I like the beat of MY drum
It's all about ME (in MY world)
Single=SAFE
I rather just be MAD sometimes...
I love being NAKED.
I'm always ON TIME ON MY CLOCK
Rules=DEATH
Freedom=LIFE
A mate is only helpful if they allow you to be YOU & add to your life what you lack
Men have penis.... is that all?
I'm bitchy when uncomfortable
boxes make me sick
I KNOW how to smile.
I hate pretending
Will YOU wait for me? (TO BE CONTINUED)

No Doubt...

It's only an ACT...

Throughout my entire life even through childhood I've had these stages where nothing seems quite right but in the midst of it evolves my best artistic work. It's a rage I go through where I don't want to talk to people, go anywhere, do anything but sit in my room & write for hours, paint, sing, dance, dress up. Even as an adult I do this. I think if I exposed this side of me people would literally think I'M CRAZY, BECAUSE i WOULD TRY TO EXPLAIN TO THEM SOMETHING i DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND. I truly think it's the lost actress in me wanting & longing to perform. If you don't know I've been acting & in theater since I was young. It's the only place I completely fit in & CRAZY is the normal! While studying theater in New York my teacher handed me a script of a girl who was an artist & I had to perform "naked" & bend down in front of my class while reading this poem that my character wrote, I (SHE) grabbed her boobs, swung her hips, & spread her womanhood while screaming a poem to the top of her lungs... I felt so free when I did it. I became her & my teacher thought it was amazing how I was able to connect with such a strange script. I want to live in character everyday....

Friday... 12:39

You may not get ME, but I feel Me.

Just something I realized.

-WOO

Random Moments...

(Thank God I typed this; had it been on paper it might be crumbled up & thrown in the trash but at least it would have escaped my mind)

Who Is Your Sender?

who is your sender
where do you come from
who sent you to invade my life speak your words in my ear make my heart believe the sincerity in your eyes
who sent you?
Why would your sender choose the time in which I finally have clarity
to stir up confusion I am not familiar with my feelings
I get angry when I can't find words to speak
frustrated when my knees become weak
I despise the feeling of a million butterflies rumbling in my gut
I do not understand that which I can not control
who sent you?
who ordered you to command me to jump
and why did I non hesitantly follow through
I don't even know you but I feel like I do
this is no normal to me
this that I feel has no explanation
I didn't do anything to attract you in my life
So I repeat who is your sender....

God?

11:58 - writers block.

some boys make me S.I.C.K

- Woo.

If shoes could KILL...

Tell me these aint dope! I DARE u.

"You got ME, up off my twittaaa....

Lately I've been feeling like after I reached a bit of success I became a little too nice, prissy, and started slacking while the enemy was plotting ... well THANKS coz now I'm pissed off & my best work comes when I'm mad as a ----!!! This Ciara most def puts my attitude in words. RESPECT.

"Me & You, Just us two ...

So today I enjoyed a wonderful Girls Night Out "Sex & The City II" shopping & a movie date with a few of my girlfriends. The Movie was long but I enjoyed the imperfect happily ever after ending that I knew it would have. I fell in love with the main theme of the movie which was LOVE is never perfect, always unique, sacred, & no matter what, we can all make up the rules for our own relationships. I've dated a lot of guys in my life thus far and most of them were bad guys... a few were good that I let get away but I realized that where I constantly made the mistake was letting other people determine what a relationship should be. The truth is nobody is as close to your relationship as you and your partner & as long as both of you know what works for you nothing else should ever matter. I LOVE "love" and although I personally am not the typical "by the books" type of girl when it comes to dating I know that there is a perfect match just for me who is willing to make OUR own rules as we go along... so with that said I want to give a shout out to my "Mr. Big" whoever you might be, I can't wait until WE take our own journey together and create our happily ever after fairy tale!

"Ever thine, ever mine, ever OURS..."

- B.Ross

"Why Am I single?" PT.1

Why am I single?

It's funny you ask as if my outer appearance indicates that some man should be calling me his your next question is, 'Do I have kids ?'& I tell you no which is another plus for you but then you follow though with "what's wrong with you?"... Now for a second I feel my blood pressure rise & and curse words with venom finna roll of my tongue but I think first...
I repeat the question in my head as if I believe there could really be something wrong with me -- Men will have you believe their lies, have you believe that you are the cause of them cheating, them beating and them using your love as a shield to protect them but as that shield we become tarnished, bruised with hard times, dented by the blows of more bad news men will use, use & use you until there is nothing more, until tears and lust juice spill out your pores soak your bed with his sweat leave you there emotionless and open
Open to do whatever he commands of you & that is why I am single, I have been a shield too long, now I protect my own I bear enough love for myself that a man could only be an accessory to me the equivalent of my favorite pair of shoes, yes I'd be hurt if they broke but I'd get another pair , I sleep in my bed alone & the only juices that flow on these sheets is those created by me and my "BOB" no job I own a business and go to school I read empowering books so I can be no mans fool. This is why I am single I am too damn smart for boyfriend I need more than that. are you intimidated yet? & now let me guess your final words will be "it was just a question!" and I, I'll smile placing my hand on your shoulder leaning in and reply " & this was just PART 1 of my answer"

6:47 ...

"...Either way I don't want to wake up from you, my beautiful nightmare - Love, WOO

PRESS PLAY....

Then read my poem ... I must say that the artist in me won't allow me to sugar coat how I feel, so please take no offense to the words I write. I am human.

"Arrangements"

So... there I was once again left feeling insecure about this... arrangement, wondering what I lack that makes him not want to turn this into more than a quick fuck I dodge & duck reality every time I'm face to face with him. Me being cool I pretend to enjoy this non commitment, this non giving, non loving, self serving arrangement, trying to convince myself that I could have him ... but I cant he is like me stubborn, determined & a man that I cant figure out
& to scream & shout about this disconnection would make me a fool... coz of course I'm too cool so I just ride along, ride along on him I ride, I kiss his neck, I grab his back, straddle my legs around his waist and as I lay there drenched in his sweat & mine I realize that's the only thing he will ever share with me... what's wrong with me? Don't you find me attractive, intelligent, and worthy of a crown with a title that insist I am fully capable of doing more than lying down. Was my mistake giving you the closet thing I have my sweet pussy ... I was told the best gifts aren't monetary and contrary to your belief and as it may seem to the brothers on your team I do not do this all the time, I simply had a thing for you , but clearly you made other arrangements.

"My thoughts exactly ...

Check my Credentials ...

"So I've come to the conclusion that a man who doesn't want me, need me , LOVE me is simply afraid of my super illmatic, intelligent, overly sexual, self assured, dope self. Understandable. I will say however, if I wanted YOU at one point in time & you let me get away you missed out on what could have been one amazing, stress free, open minded, artistically driven, always envied Lovership. Once I turn around I'm gone baby.... But I would like to know 'WHY?' " -WOO



***PRESS PLAY***

Well...

Free yourself to be [your]self ...

So earlier, I quoted myself on twitter & said that "If you expose yourself you have nothing to fear. FREE yourself to BE yourself". In my mind of many thoughts one thing is clear, people will always think they have something on you. People in your past will always see you as who you were, people in your present will rock with you in the moment, & people in the future are waiting to know the NEW you that you show them. I pride myself on trying to keep certain things private but eventually I allow people to know more & more of me.I don't even want people to see me as who I am now & be let down by the me I might have been. With that said no name people call me bothers me. Call me a bitch? Well maybe I was to you. Your whore?... I've never been married so possibly. A fake, we all imitate. Call me what you want, even my mother called me BRITTANY but that is not who I AM. I Am GOD. Yes I said it, I was made in his image & made to deliver to the world a gift he has given me... but I AM WOMAN also. I'm created to be a wife, a mother, a sister, a business owner, a friend... I am human ever evolving, ever discovering, always recovering. My life is not my own to be kept a secret, so I will share what you ask of me & fear not what YOU label me because you have no say in where I will eventually be.

"Bring me water for my mind...

"Feed Me .... every day I need my hunger to be fulfilled. A quick thinker would assume it's my stomach that is hungry but it's my spirit & mind that needs to be fed. My longest nights are the results of malnutrition. Lately I've caught myself mixing my relationships with friendships. It WOULD be pleasing if out of the many relationships I have came a genuine friendship but that isn't always the case. The more I become an expert in LIVING I see that the people I need close to me are those who can FEED ME spiritually & mentally because without them as my inspiration negativity finds it's way in my life and the vision of peace, prosperity, & abundance become faded by meaningless conversation & non-productivity. I want to apologize for the distance some of my "friends" are experiencing with me lately ...all I can say is you weren't bringing enough food for thought & I had to get away or else I might just die of starvation." - The thoughts of B.Ross 10:15PM

"(insert here)"

hmmm... TO BE CONTINUED.(writers block) Anywho let me drop something for you to vibe to from Badu. Amen.

"I told you gimme a MIN & I'll be right BACK!

Greetings loves! I've been neglecting my blog but ya laydee is back baby! I have a new attitude & name that I need you to call me. "B SCRILLA ROSS" yes! SCRILLA! I am so serious when I say that I am so about my business & I am and will continue to make power moves in 2010 and beyond! Men you know I have love for you but I need to speak to my WO(men) on the real about some things however if you would like to continue to read please do you might learn some things:

Ladies repeat after me: "I WILL NO LONGER DEAL WITH FUCKBOYS"

WO(men)you need to know there are still rules & respect to be made even with casual dating. If a boy is not doing anything for you, not supporting your movement, calling on some other typppee, distracting you from ya paper he is a FUCKBOY leave him alone! Even if he appears to have it together, making money & has nice jeans who cares!!! None of what he has has anything to do with you! Focus on YOUR paper, your family, your health, your real friends, heck even your vijay jay & always keep God first. We are made of mans rib our mate comes naturally but MONEY is up to us to get. God already has laid out the map for you to get to the pot of gold so stop messing with FUCKBOYS and get your school & business right! You MUST be a savage until you are AT LEAST 23 no if, ands, or buts, about it I am officially letting you know that WOMEN SHOULD NOT DATE UNDER 23. The BOY isn't ready & ya bank isn't ready. DO YOU!

$crilla Ross ;)

Just a thought!

"Let go of the need to struggle for what you don't really desire in the first place"

LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN ...
"Let go of the need to struggle for what you don't really desire in the first place"

Well...Hello ;)

It's been a min since I have had the time to really sit down & post something. You know I'm def gonna spit it real so here goes... it took me like 5 days to come up with this poem I'd like to call "TITLE"; I think this ish is DOPE!


NEVER THINK YOU'RE MY ONLY. I'M SINGLE BUT I'M NOT LONELY... tis all ;)

yea I'm that sweet I can write a 1 line poem.

(no let me go wear my "I love my boyfriend" tee-shirt on every date I go on so each dude FEELS special. I'm a jerk ... I know!)

Searching...

"Don't trust the way of man. Look at yourself, are you perfect? Then neither is your neighbor. If you want to attract perfection seek perfection within yourself. Once you find that no such thing exist in flesh you will seek HONESTY which is the next best thing..."B.Ross

Sonnie Daze...

Ok so all of my long time brothers & sisters know that in the spring/summer of 2009 when Blushed By B.Ross was a baby I wanted to find a way to connect with women who are just as business savvy & inspiring as myself (PAUSE) that sounded cocky, but aye I work HARD. I knew that at the moment it would be impossible to travel all over so I used FACEBOOK as a way to reach out to young ladies who were making major moves! I developed the FBI (Facebook Interviews). I am happy to say that so many of the women I have interviewed have become great friends & networking partners! Well to kick off 2010 WE ARE BACK! Please check out todays interview with Sonnie Daze, poet, model, singer, writer...ect!!!! This chick is ...well simply put, BLUSHING.

Black, Blushing, & in LOVE.

http://www.blushedbybross.com/ <-- BEAUTY.BLISS.BLUSH

This month is all about BLACK folk & Love; what a perfect combination of ultra smooth dopeness.

"I am not tragically colored. There is no great sorrow dammed up in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes. . . . Even in the helter-skelter skirmish that is my life, I have seen that the world is to the strong regardless of a little pigmentation more or less. No, I do not weep at the world—I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife."


Zora Neale Hurston (1901?-1960)
"How It Feels to Be Colored Me" (1928)

" I Fantasize...

*sigh* (I was going to really write something but I learn that some things are better left unsaid... so here is how I feel in song form) CAUTION: I am a dreamer so I'm always "IN LOVE" in thought! Don't worry nobody had my nose wide open .... yet.

"Call me crazy... I'm real with MINES.

I'm beat so I'm going to make this post quick! After another go getting grind hard week I found the time to converse with Pam Mines (Author of "God Chose Me" http://www.luvemlikeminespublishing.com/). I won't go into detail about the convo but long story short it was based on the fact that being honest about how you feel & what you want is OK as long as you don't allow your emotions to run your life. She told me she was proud of me because even though I do want that "somebody" I def don't limit myself on the pleasures of life & happiness! As I always tell myself & my ladies 'The King will appear when the Queen IS READY" So with that said If I like you ...(SO WHAT) it doesn't mean if you don't like me back my heart will be broken chances are I LIKE someone different every week! NEVER LET 'EMOTIONS' RUN YOUR LIFE... everything is exactly as it should be, all the things you lack are because in a way unseen they are unhealthy for you. Rejoice that God is able to see what we can't ;)

(PRESS PLAY... Lyrics are DOPE)

What the FREAK!?!

So as you all may or may not know I am VERY vocal about my opinions on most every topic especially SEX. I feel like from a womans perspective we have been made to mask our physical desires & wants. You would think that along with voting rights women would be liberated from these sexual double standards that clearly still exist. The truth is there is NO right way to have casual sex. If a single woman is a "hoe" for exploring her inner sex kitten then what are men? What difference does it make if you screw 10 men in 10 days or 10 men in 10 years?? You still have experienced the same amount of variety "10 IS 10". Now that we have the foundation of topic cleared up let's get to the REAL point. FREAKS;; some men say they don't trust a "freak" in fear that sex is all she is after & she is incapable of being in a monogamous relationship, my reply to that would be THAT'S BULLSHIT stop believing it! If men didn't really want a "freak" they wouldn't cheat. All men & women want the same thing, someone who is kind, LOYAL, trusting, & has great SEX. In order to be fully fulfilled in a relationship all parts of it must be in sync, so because a woman is vocal about her sexual behavior it does not negate from her capability to be a trustworthy "down ass" chick, in fact she is probably more likely to be just fit for a wife due to her willingness to PLEASE her man. In no way am I promoting promiscuity, as I mature DAILY I find that my body should be held sacred & not every man who woo's me should enter my temple unless he has ALL of me but I am simply killing the myth that a woman can't be freaky & a good girl at the same time. You have to look deeper into that person to make the assumption & not on sexual actions. Just like men women LUST & want to test drive that "thang" before they buy. A SMUT is the one you have to look out for, SMUTS have no life, no goals, no sense of companionship & only know how to open those legs .

Well it's been real I'm OUT.

B.Ross (Former PROUD freak! *in 2010 I've decided to close the cookie jar... maybe.)

"I have a DREAM...

So;; while most people were relaxing & reflecting on this beautiful MLK holiday I had a hands on salon interview & LANDED the job ;) It didn't dawn on me the significance of this day until my teacher called & left me a message relating MLK's dream with my dream that is coming true right in front of me. I almost had a moment when I thought about how blessed I am to be living a dream, a dream that is possible because of those before me. Another sign hit me today as I was watching the Rosa Parks story on BET. There was a scene when the barber shop was worked by all black hands yet owned by the white man, funny I now work in a salon OWNED by a lovely BLACK couple! Oh what a day (DREAM)...

MLK

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
Martin Luther King, Jr. ♥

Dear Lover Friend,

Can't deny that it's attraction that made me aim to get it,
glad you made a move coz I was too shy to admit it
now weeks are passing and I'm still letting you hit, cant quit it, coz I like the way you feel up in it
never kiss and tell I keep our meetings on the low
I think the fun would be lost if I let our secret show
I don't express it but I get upset when it's time to go
you keep me wanting more as if there's parts of you I have yet to explore
I'm trapped in by this lust that mental knows aint right but it never stops me from transforming into your concubine for the night feeling like The Roots "you making sounds like the vibe got you reaching your heights" roll with the one that's breaking you off....I keep it tight lyyykkkkkeee lol ;)

Enjoy The Roots video "Break You Off"
"Keep each other thirsty
Kisses like Hershey
But lips is sealed
'Cause we don't need the controversy
I say I'm in town, You say you want it in the worst way

"Thinking of the many faces of men...NONE are him.

For the last couple of years I have had a dream of this man, I don't know who he is or what he looks like... but HE is love. I actually FEEL this man in my dreams he holds me, talks to me but in a whisper way where words are muffled and when I wake I feel this warmth. It's crazy what can occur while you sleep & how pictures can be painted in your mind & you awake and remember them like it's real life... I think dreams are PRE life. I truly believe that some dreams are messages from God giving you a preview of what's to come & it will come if you let it. The song below "Love is Blind" is referring to man in the flesh but I feel like this about the man in my dreams. Every time I have a "loverfriend" I feel like I'm cheating, BUT cheating myself because I can tell off bat that HE is not the him I dream of, I'm just pretending ...I imagine the faces of men but NONE are him.
(LISTEN)

Anytime; ANYplace ...

So after a year of being single & having a couple of flings here & there I realized that I miss PASSION. The older I become the more free I feel about expressing my sensuality & I become more comfortable with addressing my sexuality. As a woman we are trained to keep what, where, & who we want on the low but every once in awhile you'll run across a spirit just as free as you & that's when things get fun. I miss that. I miss the passion of really liking someone to the point it's almost love & feeling such a energy around them that you don't care who is watching or where you are it's like you have to have them right there.... what better way to express this than through this song....enjoy lovers ;)

What I meant to say ....

Ok so I was B.S'n; my mind is still scattered so I'm going to share random thoughts! You can hit me up on twitter @Blushed_BRoss if you want to go in detail on any of them.

• "MEN SUCK!" & "WOMEN SUCK!" (but not all of them!)
• YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL! (although your mind is trained to believe not)
• I SHOULD HAVE SAT ON ((YOUR)) FACE
• THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE "PERFECT ONE" JUST THE HONEST ONE!
• MONEY WON'T GIVE YOU AN "O" TRUST ME I'VE TRIED IT.
• NO MANNERS = NO FRIENDSHIP
• IF YOU DON'T KNOW A WORD GOOGLE IT! (Because if you don't not only will I think you are illiterate but I'll think you lack the common sense use your sources.)
• gsddgsgdHFFHIHFSDBHJDJAAhilhfdlhflihfihfsli (i'M DONE!)

"What good do your words do if they can't understand you...

Hmm;; I was really going to write about "something" but as I started to write,my words were just as scattered as my mind is. I guess I'll save all the small minded people from trying to uncover my "craziness" as they call it. I'll leave you with a song to vibe to though...

Naked with thoughts...

Badu playing on the stereo...

Vanilla candle burning ...

Lights off.

Fan turning ...

Queen bed.

& me ...

Lying there naked with thoughts I unconsciously count the 3 seconds it takes for each breeze of Air to sweep my body from my nape to my toes

Shut eyes embracing the darkness, I breathe, then I spark this --

J walking, fast talking, city lights in my mind

Remembering when the city of New York was mine--

At least my old block that is

86Th. I take the 1 downtown feeling the urge to see who I can find --damn he's fine

Side tracked my dream skips to HE.

The HE I never speak of, just devour every piece of, every week on Thursday night--

"Hello Mr. Afternoon"

"Mr.Light skin butter pecan brown"

A short glance in his eyes for a fear of being lost

Deep kisses from this lover put my heart on defrost

As I turn around he lightly creeps up my back with the tip of his fingers, pulls me close from behind & the smell of his skin still lingers ...

quick shiver-- the switch of my body wakes me from my dream,that right before I would cum if this was reality--

Still the breeze from the fan hits my inner thigh & I'm chilled

naked with my thoughts my womanhood is revealed...

"Thought that I had lost (YOU)...

"But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, & bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members---I thank God---through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.- From the book of Romans

(Everytime I pick up His word I find clarity in my current state of confusion.I need Him around.)

The Law of Assumption.

As I continue to mature & develop relationships I have become very observant of those who confuse "The Law of Attraction" with what I call "The Law of Assumption". The law of attraction teaches 'what you put out, you get in return' but where this can get sticky because many people are afraid to truly PUT OUT. I can only speak from a womans point of view, but I'm sure many men will agree that we have been trained to shield our emotions, kinda like a child touching a hot stove we don't want to be burned again BUT with a heart we must inch our way up and take a risk if we want to truly be happy. We need to put an end to "The Law of ASSUMPTION" no matter how many physical signals you are putting out to your "lover friend" we as humans operate on a verbal understanding. You can't always assume that the other person knows what you are thinking. For example: take 2 adults who have been "hooking up" for a couple of months, both are very friendly, nonchalant, & easy going. Outside of "hooking up" casual conversations persist but NEVER on the topic of relationship, political, or any subject that withholds some sort of substance. This scenario may be perfect for some & definitely can work if both adults KNOW that they have a mutual understanding but 9/10 1 of them is wondering "Where is this going?". Shielded that person doesn't want to express the concern so they use "The Law of Assumption" and assume the other person knows how they feel. This is CRAZY people! Your lack of communication can only do 1 thing, which is confuse both yourself & your "lover friend". If you want to attract the RIGHT energy, relationship, or friendship in your life you must SPEAK up on what your expectations are. SN: That example is completely fictional ;)

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter" - James Earl Jones

Random 1:32 AM thought....

"The only thing I appreciate about my extreme loneliness are the thoughts that compel me to write. If I wasn't single I fear that all my art would be thrown into a box never to be opened again. So shout out to the jerk that gave me my ART back!"

"Like Badu Ima tell you the truth...

Every new year we hype ourselves up to believe that in some magical way there is a new beginning... The truth is there is no such thing as a new beginning but WE CAN start a new ending! Think of "BAG lady" carrying all that crap on her back as she tries to move forward. The truth is she may not be able to start her journey over but she can drop off some of her baggage as she continues to travel; so people I encourage you in 2010 to "PACK LIGHT!" (SN: I love this LV garbage bag pic I found! What great symbolism that no matter what TRASH is wrapped in its still trash! Let him/her *cough* I mean it go)